The Score Card

Updated: Dec 7, 2020

In the 1970s, I was married to world champion saddle bronc rider, Monty "Hawkeye" Henson. Well, in my precious little preteen imagination anyway, which became an utterly gross idea to me in my teenage hippie wannabe days. Nevertheless, every year I would make the trek to Oklahoma City with my grandfather for at least a week of the National Finals Rodeo, and a shopping spree at Sheplers to boot! My sister (and I won't mention which one or I'll be killed) would come along too. We would both pretend, in great detail, to be "rodeo wives." She was married to world champion bull rider, Donny Gay.  The score card was everything to me! Let me explain. Inside the NFR program book, you could find a score card and you could keep score - of every event! This was fantastic fun for me, and of course, being wives, we had to keep track of our competition and make sure we were both going to walk away with a win! As I think back on this silly little memory, I hear the sound of thousands of pairs of boots shuffling across dirty cement all around the arena, buzzers and timers, the heavy breathing of working animals and the roaring applause of the audience when a cowboy would be so daring as to take dominion over an animal with such incredible finess and grace. The score card reflected who was the best and who had failed the test. Man was assigned to rule over and subdue beast from the beginning of time. The sport of rodeo is an interesting one. It's a display of man's power over the seemingly impossible and it is truly spectacular to watch. In certain situations and competitions, score cards can help us measure where we are as people in healthy ways. However, in love and relationships, keeping score is a different matter. Today I want to share a serious gaslighting issue I've come to understand within relationships regarding a bible verse. Gaslighters are notorious for throwing this verse in the faces of believers - within personal relationships as well as in political realms. This was a critical, pinpointed, demarcation for me to see and understand in order to remove myself and remain separated from abusive relationship situations, particularly as a Christian. I've found this to be invaluable advise, especially during the holidays, when out of our deep love and desire to be connected to family, we are tempted to return to abusive patterns within our family relationships.  The verse simply says, "Love keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:5) In other words, love throws away the score cards of the past. But wait, hold your horses! "Love forgives all things, bears all things, endures all things." Man, that is some kind of love! It was important for me to see that "of the past" was key. To "keep" means to hold on to something you received in the past. But when it comes to the present, and even repeating cycles that, yes, were there in the past also, I had to take another look at this verse. It is not calling us to continue to subject ourselves to the same patterns of destructive and abusive behaviors. The Proverbs are full of advice on this. For example, "A person with great anger and bitterness will bear the penalty for their lack of temper and lack of self control. And if you rescue that person, you will only have to rescue that person over and over again." (Proverbs 19:19 Amp Version) The Lord has led me through the slow development of a little personal, (private) prayer I now use. It goes like this: "I forgive you. I love you. I accept that you are where you are right now and I am where I am (and that for now we cannot be together.) And I hope for our future. This helps me so much, and this prayer keeps my love for that person in alignment with 1 Corinthians 13:5 while still keeping the necessary boundaries in place. Then, the real kicker is to learn how to turn back to the greatness of life and celebrate those things! On that note... This week kicks off the National Finals Rodeo 2020 which is being hosted in Arlington and Fort Worth Texas this year. In honor of this, I'm releasing "Fort Worth" - the next song from my 12 song story album. "Fort Worth" is a joyride, depicting a time when my family came through the trials of the Dust Bowl and into great prosperity!

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The Common Ground Sound Project revolves around the true story of the debates and divisions within a Texas Cattle Ranching family, spanning four generations, with a message to the fifth - the "fifth" representing all future generations. The story is told first, through a musical documentary film, or "Songumentary" - winner for Best Original Score, Anthem Film Festival 2020, followed by the release of a twelve song story album, an online magazine, and ongoing film and television productions. The messages of these productions are supported by unique products and powerful online resources and forums to help families celebrate their heritage, mend divisions, and heal brokenness among individual relationships within the family.

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